Shuffling

Tonight, I'd like to take a break from the pattern I set up months ago when I made those first posts. I want to get down to business a little bit and be kind of serious with you all. I hope this is okay with everyone.
The past two years have not been good. I can't say that their passing has gone wholly awry, but the data has a definite, and fairly sharp downward trend. So much good has happened, and I've gained a lot personally. However, the damage I have done, and the person I have become, and there has been quite a bit of change, are so far from what was expected, and so far down from what I even was! I'm glad to say that it upsets me to look back and see the fight, the personal strife, and the self-frustration I used to experience, and to look at more recent times and see that I've grown, in some ways, dejected, and that I have stopped trying to fight forward and achieve better than what I now am.... have.... know...
But this ends.
The ending has already begun, and with some awakenings, and the return of my incredibly loved brother, I want more, and I demand more. I have hope to achieve, but more importantly, I'm acting to achieve these things. I have my fight back, and I have taken up my old arms to defend myself.
And God has noticed. In about two days of having regained a resolve for better, I have felt the Spirit more and I have felt His mercy so powerfully in my heart. I do not pretend to be perfect, or even to have changed myself greatly, but my perspective has changed, and my fortitude made resolute. With God, and the strength and consolation of Christ, I know that I can do this. And I know that I can do it now.
However, this is not the next step, at least not truly. This is the short starts that push me into the next sprint; the setup for a run of faith. Directly ahead of me lays serving full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and beyond that, trying to manage an increasingly complicated and difficult life. These days are the time of preparation before I must follow Christ out onto the water, and I will not waste them.
I do not pretend either that this situation is different from that of many others my age; many who face a more uncertain future than they had originally thought, and who have made for themselves a less impressive present than they had originally imagined. To all who stand where I am now, I would ask that you fight. I would ask that you struggle with all that is in you, and that, in every beat of your heart that sends blood rushing to failing limbs and in every blow you receive at the hands of the adversary, you will give no quarter. This is not a time for the victory bells to be rung, not now. Now is the time for endurance, and all must engage honorably or forfeit to the cold.
It is here that we await the leap, and we circle our feet about, shifting our weight at odd moments and in odd places, trying to position our run to the edge of the cliff. We plan our steps and practice breathing. We sing the strength of those who have gone before and note those who have fallen. We very confidently make our little motions and place our feet over and over again in anticipation of what will only be known as flight.
This is my life now, and I'll try to keep you posted.

Autumn & Cartoons

I'm not sure that there's a better pairing in the existence of the universe. Here's why:


Autumn:


      1. Fall is beautiful. And wet. And just makes me happy. This picture was taken at Butterfield Canyon, where Taylor and I went because we thought it would be cool. We were right.

 

      2. Someone randomly decided that a swing would go really well up on that hill, and we just so happened to stop on the spot that had it. Taylor could be sad, nostalgic, pensive, or simply beaming with joy and the clear air, slight chill, and breathtaking scenery would fit her mood well. Also, fall means we get to wear jackets, coats, scarves, hats, and everyone wears pants, which are the best.

 

      With all of that, it must also be understood that what I'm describing are merely side facts of Autumn, while what I really love is Autumn-ness. It's the art of the season and the way it reflects on my emotions that really captures my attention. It causes me to look back across my life, to look inward and attempt to solve the eternal riddles of self-definition and self-exploration. It also causes me to step out and be with my family, to revel in their happiness or to experience a conjoined sadness with those who could use my comfort. There's just so much emotion in Autumn, and so many things that bring it about. I love it. It's beautiful.

 

 

 

Cartoons:

 

      Let me explain what I mean to say when I use the word "Cartoon." There are very few things made within the last four years that I would ever call a cartoon, even if they are a 2d animation commonly known by that name. The issue is this: almost every modern cartoon has lost each principle of what made old cartoons good. With the exception of such diamonds in the rough as Phineas and Ferb, modern cartoons don't have any true humor, they don't mimic popular culture in quirky ways, they have very little of the slapstick humor of older cartoons, and they stand for very little. They target older and older audiences and sometimes even try to apply the same things to younger audiences. Where has the innocence of cartoons gone? Nowadays, they just try to be as strange as possible, or they try to catch the audience off guard in some way. Old cartoons could have the same plot in every episode and build up such a strong devotion and love!

I drew a picture to help illustrate what I've been trying to say:

 

 

 

      You see, Gendy Tartakovsky is the greatest, and he hasn't truly left the business. He still directs cartoons and animations, for example, Hotel Transylvania, which I think is out, is his work. Here's a link to its web page if you want more info. Anyways, the reason why I say he "left the business," is because he no longer makes old style cartoons. He's still great and I love his work, like The Clone Wars,  which was simply an amazing series, but it didn't carry any of the nostalgia of childhood. Also, Cartoon Network, which contained most of my absolute favorites, has completely changed its approach. It makes some live action shows for crying out loud! How can it be Cartoon Network if it has non-cartoon programs? Also, I miss Cartoon Cartoon Fridays. They were happy.

 

 

Unity

 

      The reason why I have these two paired together is because they have some similar effects on me. They evoke a strong sense of nostalgia and introspect; they make me incredibly happy and outwardly so, but they bring me a small sense of sadness and pull me into myself at the same time. I love them both for that. Happy Autumn everybody. Find something you love this season.