Puppy Unicorns and Super Heroes!

      So, I'm well aware that many of you have never heard of Puppy Unicorns and are indeed wondering what on earth they might have to do with Super Heroes in what is normally a very serious blog. But let me be frank, I don't care.
      However, I do feel a pressing need to introduce Puppy Unicorns, because, you know, what the heck are Puppy Unicorns. So! I drew some pictures to help illustrate what the heck Puppy Unicorns are! Um.... I don't know how to access Draw for this version of Office (I'm not sure it has one). So the pictures might be a little more magnificent than the computer can truly express through pixels. Sorry. I can only operate within the limited means of my technology. *Sigh*






Notice the extravagant Mane and Magical Splendor?

      We'll start with figure A. It depicts a typical Unicorn with magical splendor and a casual smile. The type of thing that a child might enjoy, right? It looks much more glorious in real life..... Well, just below, as you'll see in Figure ~, a Puppy Unicorn is quite different.






Notice the SEVERE Lack of Magical Splendor? And the Mane?

      As you can see, Figure ~ shows that the Puppy Unicorn is a sad, ridiculous counterpart of the commonly beloved mystical horsey. Notice that it doesn't even have a mane? And that popsicle it has glued to it's head? Yes, the Puppy Unicorn is indeed a shameful beast. If you're ever wondering whether the creature in front of you is a Unicorn or the lesser vermin, just look into it's eyes, and if indeed you see absolutely no semblance of basic intelligence and if the cold chill of a bottomless stupidity possesses you, then you my friend have a genuine Puppy Unicorn on your hands! Be sure to wash your hands as soon as possible. As many times as you can. For the rest of the day. Make sure to use lots of Hydrochloric Acid.
      Perhaps you think I am being too harsh on the little guys? Well, let me present you with this hypothetical situation: Say a dashing young Unicorn walks up to one of our slobbery little friends and says,

"Why, hello there good fellow! How goes your day?"






Notice the extravagant Mane and Magical Splendor?

The Puppy Unicorn would likely respond as such:

Unicorn: "...."



Puppy Unicorn:




Unicorn: "......" *Coughs uncomfortably*





Puppy Unicorn:

Unicorn: "Are you going to say anything??"



Puppy Unicorn:

Unicorn:

      You see, at this point, the Unicorn has officially left the conversation by vanishing (probably with a good "ting"). After being so greatly affronted by the idiocy of the Puppy Unicorn, the real Unicorn gave up completely. Until......




Unicorn: "NEIGH!!!!!! I HAVE RETURNED WITH THE FULL POWER OF THE UNICORNS!!!"

Puppy Unicorn:

Unicorn: "....."

 

      Do you see where I'm going with this? There's just no way of dealing with a Puppy Unicorn! They don't grant wishes, they don't play fetch, and, most importantly, BATMAN WOULD NEVER RIDE ONE LIKE THIS!:

 

      That's pretty much how Puppy Unicorns relate to Super Heroes. Speaking of Super Heroes, I have a few whom I love deeply and profoundly and I would like to introduce you to a small number of them right now. Have you ever heard of my good friend Dr. McNinja? Well, he rides a raptor.

      That's right, he's a Super Hero who is both a doctor and a ninja, as his name denotes. If any of you enjoy comic books, ninjas, doctors, 12 year-olds with mustaches, humor, or joy in any form, then you will like this. It's a web comic, so go on over to his site by clicking on his image. Do it now!

      Well, that's not all, there's also a fantastic Marvel Comic Series that started pretty recently that I adore. I've only read two comics with him in it, because I'm poor and only read comic books that I can download for free.... Introducing, Nova!

      The last of the force of the Nova Corps after Annihilus released his annihilation wave, Richard Rider must police the universe with the World Mind, who is the collected knowledge of the extinct Xandarian people who created the Nova Corps. He himself is human, from earth. And awesome. Check him out if you have any time, which you do because you had enough time to spend reading this...


      Not to choose sides (although I totally do and it's Marvel all the way), I thought I'd include the great DC Super Hero, The Martian Manhunter. We call him J'onn J'onzz (John Jones), and here's something written about him on the DC Wikia.

      "His natural abilities include super-strength, super-speed, invulnerability, flight, shape-shifting, intangibility and telepathy." Basically, he's awesome, and he's been in pretty much every single incarnation of the JLA that has ever been or will ever be. Look him up, or read comics about him. I love him to death.

Well, that's a wrap for this week! Who knows the adventures we'll have next time?